In response to the growing threat against our nation’s poets, President Bush recently announced his personally crafted Poet Protection Policy. An avid reader of children’s books and despite often bellicose language a sensitive guy at heart, he’s got skin in the game as it’s said when it comes to America’s poets and the President is determined to offer what he views as our nation’s greatest resource 24/7 protection for the remainder of his term.

I had the privilege of offering a copy of my recent book The Living Dark to the President (shameless self promotion #1) and although he hadn’t time to respond directly he did mention to his secretary that it was the sorriest book he ever read. I was so impressed with the President’s emotional response that I forwarded him a few of my recent Vantage Points. To that the President said I needn’t worry any longer about watching my b**t, he’d have a few of his men watching it for me. I was overwhelmed with this generosity, and though not surprised, genuinely touched when I noticed the black SUVs parked on my block each morning.

I don’t know how many of his helpers the President put on protecting me because the windows in their vehicle are mirrored, but I do notice when one or two get out they look like athletes, dressed in sporty relax wear and dark sunglasses. The shooting of the old lady down the street was overdone by the media and I think my neighbors now understand that patriots must do their duty with limited times when it is acceptable to be on the sidewalks without disturbing these good Americans at their work.

The President has been good enough to have someone listen in on my phone calls and read my email. I’m not sure if he’s reviewed my bank accounts yet or my handwritten correspondence although I certainly hope so. On returning from Canada last weekend I was again impressed with his oversight as the border patrol provided vending machine coffee while they spent three hours meticulously searching my car for anything suspicious. I can’t wait to fly next to experience other new for my own good measures the President affords.

Meanwhile you too can join the Presidential initiative. I realize many of you have had difficulty appreciating the wisdom of his aerial war on Iraq, the importance of torture in the struggle against evil, the devaluation of the American currency in the face of hardship on Wall Street, the arming of Israel and Saudi Arabia in the cause of mid East peace, many good works that not a few of you readers may have misunderstood. However, now there is an opportunity for redemption, to join the President in an effort you can endorse.

The most direct way for you to participate in the President’s initiative is to go to my website and purchase my new book, The Living Dark (shameless self promotion #2). It is a small gesture in comparison to the guardian like embrace I and other poets know from the President, but it is an action you can take. As a special Vantage Point bonus to underscore the President’s tireless efforts in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, if you order The Living Dark from a New Orleans zip code you will receive two books for the price of one, to further literacy while those in New Orleans await the reopening of Public Housing in 2072. Also if you order from Canada, I offer the book for $18 ($2 rebate in greenbacks only) to join the fight for inflation in the United States and further devaluation of our currency.

So make the effort and help our Lincoln-like President’s fondest dream come true by purchasing your copy of The Living Dark today (shameless self-promotion #3)! Soon you too may have a watchful SUV on your block, for anything’s possible in these new and protective times.