TSA screeners are about to implement Orwellian behavioral inspections at airport security checkpoints. Who are these TSA screeners? These are the same low-level, incompetent, scandalous, molesting, abusive, and in some cases criminal people who have been creating one scandal after another. So what will these scandalous, incompetent and criminal police be doing to detect suspicious behavior? Most likely you have guessed it right. They will be watching you and maybe questioning you to determine whether you are suspicious, a suspect, or not. How are they going to do that, and based on what guidelines? According to their vague description, they will be looking for your “micro expressions,” such as lack of eye contact, acting agitated or nervous, that might “hint” at nefarious intent. How much hint is needed to be pulled over as a suspect? They don’t say. How agitated is considered suspiciously agitated? They don’t say that either. How much eye-aversion would count as a suspicious level of eye-aversion? They say nothing on that. How do the odds of being chosen by them increase by their own mood, biases, and various psychoses? Well, they don’t mention that either.

Basically, a bunch of already-proven incompetent, abusive, biased, and criminal people who have been high on their government-given limitless powers will be freely using their subjective judgment on whether you look or act suspicious, or not. Now I want you to think about agitation, eye-aversion, nervousness, being stressed out, being shy …Think about it, and then calculate the odds of you being determined a suspect, thus one of their chosen ones:

If you are one of those Starbuck’s addicts used to running on several shots of espresso, then place a good size bet on being one of the many TSA chosen ones. You know you are going to be jittery, and TSA will probably read your jitteriness as an ultimate indicator of your suspiciousness. You’ll be chosen.

If you are one of many ladies out there (like myself) with temperament-changing and mood-swinging monthly menstruation cycles, quickly check out the calendar and make sure your next flight does not coincide with that time of the month.

If you are one of those parents travelling with children, some of them in their terrible twos-threes or fours, see if you can ship the kids via cargo. We all know how frustrating and agitating it can be to travel and handle kids that age-especially when we go through shoe-removing, belt-removing, patting and groping checkpoints. Your frustrated and agitated state will probably land you in the circle of TSA’s chosen ones.

If you are one of the racial minorities …well, need I say more? Think of those abusive bigot cops incidents, multiply that several times, and there: those are the odds of you being selected as one who looks suspicious, thus a suspect, and therefore a chosen one.

If you happen to be shy, then you are totally out of luck. You know you most definitely will avert your eyes…at least once or twice while being watched-interpreted-detected. Do yourself a favor and cancel all your air travel. You ain’t gonna make it; you’ll definitely be a chosen one.

…

Actually, when it comes right down to it, if you are an ‘American,’ you may as well put all your bets on being TSA’s chosen one; at one point or another. Because the American Government has designated you, every single one of you as a ‘suspect.’ When it comes to your communications-phone, e-mail, etc. every single one of you is a suspect, according to your government, thus, under phone wiretaps and other communication related surveillance. Think about it, even the ‘ordinary’ airport security procedures you are forced to undergo are meant to screen you, check you out, as a suspect. Whether you engage in some sort of a suspicious behavior or not is actually a moot quandary. We, my friend, all of us, were designated as suspects nearly a decade ago. We may as well return that ticket, forget that darn flight, and drive while we can. Before the suspicious behavior detection police take over the roads and make that humiliating or impossible too.

Aug. 2011